Thursday 12 May 2016

Because not despite

Have you ever felt the need to apologise for your age?  Or excuse yourself because of your age?  Or felt the need to try to ‘look younger’? 

I am 62; nothing can alter that – I was born in 1953 (yes, I have to scroll down quite a long way when I am filling in a form with ‘date of birth’ on it).  I have had 4 children, my body has lived through all that with me and has been changed by the experience.  My brain has learnt a huge amount of facts and wisdom.  My heart has beaten millions of times (and its been broken and been touched by events that my 20 year old self couldn’t even have imagined).  My legs have walked thousands of miles and my arms lifted tons of weight of one sort or another. 
Why should I apologise for that?  Why should I try to disguise that?  Of course I want to be as fit and healthy as I can be and want to look good, because that matters to me.  But that has always mattered to me. Of course I get my hair cut regularly – I always have done and I get it coloured, because I like my hair this colour.  It might be grey ‘naturally’ – I have no idea but right now it’s the colour I have chosen.  And of course I wear face cream – I always have.  I put moisturiser on my face every night and morning because I always have done – if I don’t it feels all dry and horrible.  It might be the same cream that my mother used or it might be something new I am trying – but I use it because I like it.  I don’t expect (or want) it to ‘roll back the years’, why would I be less than I am? 

Sometimes I look at my body and wonder if I would like it to be different – but that’s good – I have always done that.  I am five feet tall (and getting shorter) – I want to keep in the best shape I can because I want to stay fit.  If I carry extra body weight my knees will hurt, my ankles will get sore.  If I put on weight my clothes will be tight (I have no idea how much I weigh by the way) and I don’t want to spend my money on new clothes right now.  If I let my BMI creep up my risk of diseases such as diabetes, stroke and cardiac disease increases.  This is my responsibility – but it always has been.  If I am heavier then going for a walk will become an effort. And I don’t want it to be an effort – I really like walking (and running) and want to  keep this as an easy thing that takes little thought. 
I lift weights in the gym because it makes me feel strong and in control – but it does that for younger women too.  I lift weights because I am 62, not despite.  Research tells us that resistance work is valuable for older muscles as well as young muscles.  I run because I am 62and its great for my bones. 

I continually look out for interesting courses and new skills to learn.  I always have done.  It might take a while to get the information to stick (but it always has done) – and I no longer panic if its complicated to begin with, I know, because I am 62, that I will be able to master it all sooner or later.
So, could we please stop the language of the old person?  If we tell ourselves that we can’t do something because we are old I can guarantee that we won’t be able to do it.  OK – let’s be realistic – I am not going to run a sub 3hours 30 marathon – but the great thing about being 62 is that I don’t want to!  But I can run, I can run as far and as fast as I want to because I am 62. 

I can greet each day as an opportunity to be as kind as I can to those around me, to do what I can to help others and to enjoy myself.    I am confident because I am older, more relaxed and more experienced.  I know that things usually work out OK eventually so I fret less.  I have learnt how to live in the moment.
So don’t expect me to want to look younger, roll back the years, or recapture my youth.  I am very happy because I am 62, not despite.  I am just going to carry on being the best I can,  it works however old you are! 

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